ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
