I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
