So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
