Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
