What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
