what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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