were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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