Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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