Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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