I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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