I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
