Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
