Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
