i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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