you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You ate ashes out of my bong
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
