my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
