Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
