I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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