Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
