did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
