naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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