Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize