thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
