The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
