Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
