i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
