when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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