She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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