on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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