eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
