yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
