Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
