Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
