You really coming over, don't trick.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
