glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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