I heard we made out
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
