I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
