we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
