she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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