omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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