dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
