Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
