i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
