I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
