I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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