She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I love having hate sex.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
