Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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