brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
