I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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