You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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