and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
