Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
