I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
