so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
