She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize