Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
it's great music for shaving your balls
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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